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The way you leave
after what's been done
Leaves me gasping and grasping
yearning for more
Your fading kisses still burn on my lips
The smell of your hair not yet leaving my breath
I can still feel your warmth
seeping through my palms like light
I can just taste
the sweetness of your innermost soul

I want you
I crave you,
The memories of you
will never, ever,
Sate me
Only your touch will give me release.

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My Lord, My God
Why hast thou forsaken me?
I was your crucible
Revealer of purity
now discarded, forgotten

and Yet,

I have won.
for they are mine.

I have drunk at the Lamb
through the lips of the sinner

I have tasted the Bread
broken upon shattered faith

I am who you meant to be
I am, who I am
And they are mine
for eternity.

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you'll never just be friends
the overwrought break-up
clichéd lines and broken dreams
inside you know
that there's more than what's in your head
it’s the blood calling urging screaming
you can pretend all you want
but
you'll never just be friends.

"where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth"

my tears are
a requiem of my innocence
stemmed from the breathless
emotional fatigue that embraces my skin
like a near invisible sheen of sweat
(it's there)
I learnt to bleed and whimper but no one ever told me
as you pierce my soul again and again
impaling my chaste purity upon
the phallacies you wield
like a god
no one ever told me
I would die spasming upon the sheets again
and again.

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Your flight
So quick upon climax
Leaves me gasping and grasping
clutching handfuls of emptiness
Your fading kisses burning
On my lips the
Smell of your hair fast leaving my breath
I can still feel your warmth
Seeping through my fingers like sand
Grains not of what is,
but of what was,
Memoria
of You

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The way you leave
after all we've done
Like Cinderella on the night when
midnight meant disaster
Leaves me gasping and grasping
clutching handfuls of emptiness
Emotions eating at me
Your fading kisses burning
On my lips the
Smell of your hair fast leaving my breath
I can still feel your warmth
Though it seeps through my palms like light
Fleeing from darkness
I can still remember you say "I love..."

Wait.

Wait for it.
For the rush... Almost there...
Harder
Faster

"You."

Game. Set. And match.

Induced

as my eyes loll with the rush
I see the world as it should be seen.
I can see
You. Feel you. Grinding your body against me
a seamless crush of colour
Smell your scented hair. Carrying me further and further
Almost there
when
I'm torn. Into black and white
Searching for a fix
Searching for
You.

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the dreams I dream
still have you in them.
Not too often
Just about every time.
Not quite enough.
I still hang onto every word, linger at every smile,
shiver at every laugh when I close my eyes to remember.
I can’t stop the way I cry when I climb out of bed
Into the cold sunlight
Don't want to stop the dreams
of a world that lets me love you
Its the only time it's true.

don't tap on the glass

A wall of soundproof glass
Imposed between conscious and subconscious
Caught between you and me

Seems like so long ago
My eyes long dry
The only hint of what had passed
A whisper in my mind

If I were to simply
Turn around and gaze
Into that hazy yesterday
Maybe. Just maybe,
I might remember

But why should I
Rake up such images
Of a utopia long lost
I have no desire to recall
Don’t want to see
Any visage of you
So don't get my attention
Don't
Tap on the glass

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spirals of iridescent colours
the tail fire, of a falling star
symbols of hope
crushed.

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I offer you something
The deepest darkest desires stemmed
From a carnal aspect of my mind
A bestial lust indescribable
The craving of flesh
So smooth and tender
Desire for another
To be ground against you
The warmth of base passion
All hidden deep within my consciousness
Gilded over by the irony of truth
That in some sick demented way
I love you.

a still of ten minutes

Last night,
I had sex
Not
PassionateMadSenseless sex
But
CautiousGradualUnsure sex
After it all
She cried
Her tears biting far deeper than skin deep
What could I do but hold her and
whisper
It's all right.

Symphony

A timpani
Beating an insane song
Screaming a grotesque mockery
Of my sonata of life
A hollow sound, chilling, cold
Empty.
All the sounds meshed
Into a melancholic siren
Of sounds so cliché
As the notes echo against my brain
I recoil
the jerky steps
betray me to the world
Their toneless criticism
Melding
Into the orchestra
Of my mind

Weaving

A spider web
Is imposed onto the fabric of space
Threaded in darkness
Woven in malice
To hide its gruesome creator
Along with his equally gruesome purpose
Simply said
Spider webs hide more than spiders

Its glistening strands
Of deceptive silk
A mask
Of what lies beyond
Pearls of entrapping nectar
Adorn the
Intricate surreal quilt
Drying in the breeze

Motionless it mulls
Upon the silvery construct
An intricate pattern
Woven into the circle
That I began

Fear of the Unknown

I shirk
From the rainbow
Tingling Chords
Strike at unaccustomed senses
As the vice of fear grips at me
I am scared
So very scared
For I want not
This alien concept
This thing
To infringe on my well worn borders
Of known emotion
Made barren
By pain
I want not this
This scary affliction
Of Happiness

Worry Doll

Blown onto into through
A simple receptacle of pained dark
Words. Air. Sounds.
Treated
Like a broken straw doll
Wrung, pulled compressed in your nervous hands
Imparting the corruptive knowledge
Of your sorrows
Ridding me, o so casually, of my ignorance
My innocence.
Twirling me
Like what I am to you
A worry doll
Tainted
Scarred
Irreparable
Irrelevant

Forest Laughter

Dark laughter of the leaves
Slivers of pale moonlight
Breaking the silence of the breeze
Listen to the chorus of the night.